So sleeping in a tiny ass bed with your crush is not all it's cracked up to be... like when you're platonically sleeping in the same bed and they don't know you like them and it's awkward cause all you wanna do is kiss/cuddle.... grr stupid boys

ugh. I hate wanting to talk to people and not being able to... I have no phone, no phone card, and no watch. This leaves me completely out of the loop of everythiing. And I like it. It's nice to not have to be so American all the time. It's beautiful; but what if somebody doesn't know this and tries to leave me a v-mail? I dunno. I just really wish this one person would make contact with me. But he won't. Thus making me such a little bitch. Well it's ok; I'm over it. Because there's no need not to be. However I like communication. I've gotten really good with the whole communication thing. but not everybody is as good at it as I am. I hate boyos. p.s. really really really cute woman facebooked me! How exciting is that? I know; I'm such a dork. oh well ;)

If I could live my life without any drama or problems or anything negative, I would. No questions about it. Instead I find drama, make drama, and perpetuate drama. I do not understand this. I don't like it!!!!!! So yeah I lost my plane ticket to Barcelona... and didn't get anything figured out until 2 am on the day I was supposed to be leaving at 11 am. Yeah I may be making a HUGE mistake taking a chance on a boy that I shouldn't. I understand that I hurt a friend of ours when I decided to go out on this limb and that another will be hurt when she finds out. Does this mean that I shouldn't even think about it? Because if I've already screwed 2 people in this process does it really matter that there's history there? Does this make me a bad person by going through with it????? Hell this is all supposing that he doesn't get back with her. He said he wouldn't. I don't believe it. I feel like I've known him long enough and we've had enough struggles over the past 5 summers (4 of which something happened) to know that he will go back to her. It doesn't matter that he says he won't. He will. And I'll be happy for her and sad for myself. She is still desperately wanting him back and he's finally breaking down and talking to her via very public means. I sent a message and he can't seem to respond to a 4 line message but she's sick and he responds.... I understand that I could be over-reacting. I get that. However with our track record, with the fact that I'm in freaking Barcelona (which I love) and he's in Arkansas, with her wanting him so badly, with me feeling ugly compared to her, and with no way to effectively communicate I don't know how I'm supposed to take this..... boo.
I do have a slight crush over here though! That's always a good thing. Except he's 23.... I feel like a baby. I have a 10 page paper to write and instead I'm blogging. Go Dani! However I do infact love Barcelona. I do not like the 72 euro charge extra for my train ticket to Paris that they charged me even after having bought a Eurorail pass. I am not sure if I'll be able to survive off of the grand I was given if all of my food money is eaten up by travel money... And I really really want to go to see the running of the Bulls on Friday.... Anywho I'm gonna go do my paper because it's necessary and this isn't... Well maybe for my sense of peace...

<3 Dani